Breaking the Cycle – the bad habit of ex-ing
Once upon a time when a break up occurred, I would collect everything that reminded me of my newly acquired ex in a box: pictures, letters, mementos, small gifts, etc. By closing the lid and putting the box away in the closet, there was time to heal; to move forward. Sometime down the road, it could be opened, sorted through or discarded with fond memories and little pain. Mutual friends know not to tell you what your ex is up to and they know that invitations to the same events may not be the best idea.
The digital age seems to have made things more difficult. There are no physical boxes to put things in. Access to the ex’s facebook page, blogs, tweets, etc. is far too easy. And I fall into the trap of checking them a lot. I check to see if they are miserable without me (they aren’t) which is of course frustrating as I feel replaced; rejected all over again. Yet there is a part of me that wants them to be happy, for I did/do love them. I see the events they attend, knowing that it would have been something that we could have shared together. And it hurts all over again.
A friend says that I need to stop this “ex-ing”. To move forward I need to unfriend them on facebook; unfollow their blogs and tweets; delete their emails. So I try and I do… until I check on them again and they are still not miserable, but sometimes I am.
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